First Things First

Okay, so now that I have some personal issues taken care of, I’m ready to jump back into the blogging world because the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of exciting, terrifying, stressful and awe-inspiring all rolled into one.

So I basically moved out of my ex’s house, which was a difficult step to take, but made all the difference in the world. I need to be on my own for a while, experience life, move on and be the resilient woman I’m meant to be. And that’s just that, I’ve learned through each major life experience that things aren’t as scary the second, or third, or thirtieth time around.

No matter where I’ve been, or what I’ve done or how I thought I was going to handle it, by keeping my faith, God has always given me a soft place to land. Over the past ten years (basically, since high school) my life has been more or less transient. Nothing in my adult life has had permanence. Jobs, cars, relationships, homes, the majority of friends, material possessions; it’s all fleeting. I could be gearing up for a wedding one day, and the next living 60 miles away from work and trying to hold my life together.

But there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this: these changes are the best parts of your life. I’ve learned so much about myself and how to handle things from these crazy unexpected experiences. I’ve learned to roll with the punches and become tough as nails.

It would be easy to curl into a ball, cry, feel sorry for myself, and sink into another depressive state. It just doesn’t get anything done.

I’m calm, I’m good at figuring things out and taking whatever comes my way. If life throws a curveball and hits me in the face, I stand right back up and wait for the next one. I just keep my faith, keep my eyes up, and keep going.

Life is a journey, and I’m looking forward to the next few years, the people I’ll meet, and the places to go. I’m excited to figure out who I really am and what I’m capable of, without anyone telling me otherwise.

I’m free.

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❤ Hojo

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A New Approach from an Old Entry

This is from a previous entry that I wrote in a journal almost two years ago. I’m not sure what I was going through at the time, but I was starting a new journal, and the words I wrote seemed to strike me as interesting to this unique situation I’m going through.

Monday 7/30/2012

A new book, a clean slate. With God’s grace, I will live my life.I will fill this book with the ups and downs of my life, like the last book. I start a new book during one of the biggest turning points of my life, and it’s very fitting.

So with Book 3,I give myself forgiveness. I will once again forget the past and move onward onto life. I will love my life, and take care to remember and hold dear every moment, good or bad. 
I make the choice, now, to be positive, because life’s too short to dwell on the negative.

I will no longer fear the unknown, because some of life’s greatest moments have yet to come.
I will not hold back on experiencing life, because that’s what life is for. 
Lastly, I will follow God shamelessly,because if nothing else, this is what matters the most.

Live life boldly.

Holly Jo Rader

July 30, 2012.