Well, since I have some free time before the holidays, I thought I’d give a shot at writing again. I love the rainy nights curled up on my couch with my laptop and a cup of gingerbread tea. (Insert picture here, because, you know my phone decided to die three days before Christmas).So now I have to spend my afternoon waiting in line at Sam’s Club for a new phone. 😦 Yaay, new phone, boo to insane holiday rush!
So my job has been so computer-intensive lately that I haven’t really had the desire to sit down and write. It’s hard to keep a blog when your eyes are burning from staring at a screen all day.
That said, my work has been nothing short of amazing working with my anxiety disorder/MDD. I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am with the understand and support I’ve received from my managers and coworkers while learning to understand something that significantly impacts my life. It really takes a lot of weight off my shoulders knowing that the support is there.
Ronin has also been a huge asset to working with my struggles. (Although, at the moment, he’s throwing a doggie-tantrum in his crate because it’s 10:30 and we’re still awake.)
He recently finished the Intermediate obedience training, and we’re signed up for Advanced in January. While I know you can just get an ESA certification online, and that the certification is not even necessary, I feel very strongly about getting my dog his Canine Good Citizen certification. As a healthcare worker, it is important to me that I am utilizing an accommodation in the best way possible.
Anyway, things have been looking up lately. I’m registered for some business classes come Winter and Spring sessions, so I can work on my business management degree. It’s just the first step in my work towards Healthcare Administration. I think I’m starting to see a clear cut path to where I want to go career-wise. I was really struggling for a while, because I was looking to do the RN-BSN-APRN or the PA-C route; and while I absolutely love the science of medicine, I feel like I can best utilize myself in the administration process and take on current healthcare issues. Not trying to save the world, just hoping to be a leader in change.
So this is me, right now, pushing through the tough times and looking up. I have hope, that little sliver of light I can see, and trying to not let the little day-to-day disappointments, frustrations and overwhelming thoughts get to me. I try not to let a passive-aggressive remark or a stumble in my path take over. I try not to flinch when someone tosses me something. I try not to go into too much detail when someone asks questions that are too personal. I try to not overthink the details of my life and sink into that ever-present doom-and-gloom that lurks beneath a sunny exterior.
So here I go, pushing forward. Moving on. Holding my head up high and trying to ignore the emotional sludge that’s up to my knees. I can do this.